https://soundcloud.com/dubl-dd-1/audio-recording-feedback-and-assessment-within-my-classroom
Within the revisions, I added more details to the experience I have with coffee. I explained the coffee as my "warm blanket" and expanded on how it made me feel. The peer that I did the revisions with recommended to organize the writing more and make it more of a story. To do this, I started in the early morning and described the routine that I follow. As a morning person, I enjoy keeping things simple and relaxing. In order to add a negative side to the story, I discussed how coffee or this blanket of warmth can stain with just one touch. If there was anything that I could change about my "warm blanket" it would be that I could wear white without fear on the way to school. I also went into detail about what I do if I am heading to an 8am and have no time to make a fresh cup of coffee. It was important to mention the word "addiction" because it does make me the morning person that I strive to be although I would not say I am necessarily proud ...
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